A long distance marriage is not easy. In fact, the only thing tougher is probably a short distance marriage.
Let’s face it. Marriage is not easy. I am just 3-months old in the business and even I know that.
Once upon a time, my husband and I were happily unmarried and in a long-distance relationship. Topics of our long chats on the phone usually ranged from the romantic weather in either of our cities, to world economics, to congratulating ourselves on being a couple that discusses world economics. So erudite. Cut to being in a long-distance marriage and our conversations are now shorter, more to-the-point, and about dinner.
Did you eat?
Y u no eat?
I will, now.
Okay then, talk to you later.
It is not that the courtship period was all rose-tinted. We used to drive each other up the wall even back then. But that was usually because of a mismatch in our views of deep stuff, like the meaning of life, or what the next UPSC reform should be. (Like I said, so erudite. What an obnoxiously smug pair we were.)
Today, this is a sample conversation that gets the passions running high:
Me: Did the maid come today?
Him: Yes, but she didn’t clean.
I told her she can clean on alternate days. Our house doesn’t get so dirty everyday anyway.
Oh, and I gave her that Rs 10,000 advance she was asking for. She promised she will pay back.
I am trying that Jedi choking thing right now. Do you feel any difficulty breathing?
His boss famously said to him on getting our wedding invitation, “Women change after marriage.” It is a prized part of his arsenal to be used whenever I go astronomically ballistic. So, obviously, I hear it on a weekly basis. This, when I am 2000 kms away from all the funny smells that I know will welcome me back home.
But all is not lost. Every now and then, some politician will say something uncharacteristically stupid. Or one of our seniors will spout a particularly deep insight about Life, the Civil Services and Everything. And, BSNL call drops notwithstanding, we will find ourselves entangled in a long animated conversation about it. (Sometimes, my Husband The Geek will even point out exactly how long, down to two decimal points.)
Then, suddenly, a knowing silence. We both can hear the other silently grinning.
And for just a euphoric little while, we feel unmarried again.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?